steering clear of the mainstream
since 2001

june 2010

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info opinion

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Self-Titled CDR-EP


Genre: mainstream pop

May 4 - May 11 2002

Gregori fancies himself to be one of those "pop sensations" that seem to be so popular nowadays.

So what does he do? He pays someone to write and produce his songs, and also lets them take care of the instrumentation that accompanies his 'singing'. Right.

So how is it? Completely horrific, actually. As the musical equivalent of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!, you can't expect Gregori's music to be any good. And you'd be right.

He uses - or should I say abuses? - all the tried and tested (and failed) musical techniques that groups like N'Sync and The Backstreet Boys use in their music, and essentially makes an ass of himself in the process. Vocoders? Yeah, they're here. Synthesized orchestra hits? Yeah, they're here. Clichéd vocals about girls and the lack of them? Yeah, they're here. Now doesn't that sound good? Don't you just want to go out and buy this CD? If so, I'm not sure why you've read this far.

In Gregori's promo kit (which was signed "Gregori" in pink ink), he included the lyrics to the five songs on this album. To help convey his musical "depth," I'm including an excerpt from these lyrics (from the song "French Kiss") here:

When you touch my skin, it sets a fire
And there's no stopping of my desire
Won't you come to me, leave it all to me
Won't you come to me, and give me...
Not only a kiss, make it a French kiss
And open your eyes, and see what you missed
I want a wet kiss, make it a French kiss
And open your heart, and give me your lips

If this immature psychobabble becomes popular one day, my faith in humanity will completely diminish.


Matt Shimmer