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The Bran Flakes

The Bran Flakes are an excellent audio collage duo from Seattle. Self-proclaimed stuffed animal lovers, these excellent tape splicers get their samples from old thrift store records, going through each of them to find quality audio bits. As well, they back their music with a kick-ass beat from the records and put it all together to make each song. There is a review of their new cd, "I Don't Have a Friend" in the reviews section.

They were nice enough to include a very comprehensive list of the top ten weirdest songs they've ever heard, complete with descriptions of each one! Not only that, they spent hours narrowing down the list to just ten! Needless to say, they're very good choices.

The Bran Flakes on the web:

here is The Bran Flakes' top ten weirdest songs:

Lil' Markie - Diary Of An Unborn Child

Leave it to an overweight underpaid Christian Man named Markie with a puppet he calls Lil' Markie. A monologue of a fetus speaking about how many days are left until he will be born ensues until the song begins at the 3 minute mark and the first line is "Why did you kill me mommy". A horrific tune on abortion to offend many, from a Born Again Christian perspective.

Eddie Noack - Momma

A psycho's lament sung in a hop along country style. Lyrics hold such lines as, "Don't you think I'm Psycho Momma, I Just Killed Johnny's Pup". Classic.

Fred Lane - The French Toast Man

Bizarre song from the album "Car Radio Jerome". If you heard this coming out of an ice cream truck as a child you would run for your life. Let me rephrase that... a french toast truck.

William Shatner - Rocket Man

Never officially released, but at the 1978 Sci-Fi Awards broadcast on TV, Shatner sang a 5 minute plus version of Elton John's "Rocket Man" to a bewildered audience. By the time the song ends there are video images of 3 Shatner's on stage singing in unison and damaging vocal chords that never truly existed. Bootleg videos can be found of this and it has been floating among traders for years.

Evolution Control Committee - Rebel Without a Pause (The Whipped Cream Mix)

A somewhat newer track from 1996 where a Public Enemy acapella is played over a Herb Alpert and Tijuana Brass song. Very funny and great collage idea. More info can be found here, (more on the Evolution Committee later this issue)

Rodd Keith, Teri and The M.S.R. Singers - Beat Of The Traps

The power of Song-Poem music. This is one of the strangest songs of that genre in my opinion. Were the studio musicians and singers drunk and/or high? You can find out more about Song-Poem music here,

T. Valentine - Hello Lucille Are You a Lesbian?

Just find it. You won't be disappointed. It's on Norton Records,

Shooby Taylor - Stout-Hearted Man

Shooby "William" Taylor was a retired Postal employee and walked into a sound studio in NYC in 1983 and proceeded to scat sing his VERY unique style over records. All of Shooby's work is available for download in mp3 form here,

The Shaggs - Shaggs Own Thing

From the album of the same name. Instrumentally backed by The Shaggs, the father and brother of the girls sing and talk through a crazy song. Very strange and great.

The Rose Hill Junior High School Jazz Ensemble - Lady Madonna

It's Twenty Minutes Long! Takes up one whole side of an LP by a Junior high school band no less. There are no vocal words, just off key and off rhythm scats and howls. Everyone in the band has a solo piece which extends this song to maximum limits. This gets played for friends when they come over. Next time you're in Seattle come over for a lethal luxurious dose of The Rose Hill kids!

(in no particular order)